Reflexive Pronouns

For I, remember my + self; for he, him + self; for she, her + self; for it, it + self. All these pronouns are written as one word. Do not try to form every pronoun by adding self to a possessive word: he needs the stem him.

For an object or an animal referred to as it, use itself. If the animal is referred to as he or she, the form changes accordingly; itself is not compulsory for every animal.

You can refer to one person or several. The reflexive form distinguishes these situations: yourself for one person, yourselves for several. A formal or respectful address to one person still takes the English singular form.

In requests, the subject you is often not written, but the form depends on the number of addressees. Look for context: a name, a list of names or a clear address to a group.

In the basic table, we, plural you and plural they take the ending selves: ourselves, yourselves, themselves. Write v, not f, before s. For they, the stem is them, not their. The gender of group members does not change themselves.

This table covers subjects with an unambiguous number at this level. We do not practise singular they or its reflexive variants here; do not conclude from the table that they always means several people.

If the subject includes I and another person, mentally replace it with we. If several other people are named, mentally replace them with they. The reflexive form depends on that subject, not on the nearest noun.

Changing an affirmative statement into a negative or a question does not itself change the pronoun’s person. When the speaker changes in a dialogue, however, the same people may become you instead of we, so choose the form again.

The meaning of an action affecting its performer, the contrast with an action affecting someone else, and cases without a reflexive pronoun are explained separately. The construction by + reflexive pronoun for being alone or acting without help also belongs to another rule.

The form matches the performer of the particular action the pronoun belongs to: I — myself, he — himself, she — herself, it — itself, we — ourselves, they — themselves. With you, distinguish one person, yourself, from several, yourselves.

In this rule's basic set of forms, singular forms end in -self and plural forms in -selves. The separate use of singular they is not practised here.

A reflexive pronoun most often follows the verb directly as its direct object: the subject acts directly on themselves.

Sometimes the reflexive names the person an action is done for, as an indirect object or recipient, while a separate following noun phrase is the direct object: he made himself a coffee.

In combinations such as proud of, believe in, and hard on, the reflexive shows that the attitude concerns the participant themselves. This is not a mechanical rule for every preposition: follow the particular construction.

If the object refers to someone other than the subject, use an ordinary object pronoun — him, her, them, me, us, you, or it — rather than a reflexive.

Confusion here changes the sentence's meaning: one word turns an account of two people into an account of one.

Wash, dress, and shave often appear without an object in ordinary descriptions of personal care. A reflexive is also possible when it matters to explicitly identify who is being washed, dressed, or shaved, particularly to emphasise being able to do it without help.

Do not automatically copy reflexive forms from another language: the ordinary construction for focusing attention is concentrate on, while hurry normally needs no reflexive object. Adding the idea “without help” does not make these verbs reflexive.

For ordinary rest or relaxation, use relax without an object. Relax also has a transitive meaning, to calm someone, so relax oneself cannot be declared universally ungrammatical. Choose according to the meaning, not the form used in another language.

Several phrases are worth learning as complete units rather than deriving them from the rule each time: help yourself, an invitation to take food; enjoy yourself/yourselves, have a good time; behave yourself, behave properly; express yourself, communicate your thoughts; teach yourself, learn independently; introduce yourself, tell others who you are; take care of yourself, look after yourself; and believe in yourself, have confidence in yourself.

The same words, myself, himself, and so on, sometimes emphasise WHO personally performed an action rather than identifying subject and object as the same: I fixed the shelf myself means “I personally did it”. Remove myself — I fixed the shelf — and the meaning barely changes; only the emphasis disappears. This is a different function of the same words, not tested in this rule's exercises. The emphatic pronoun alone does not mean that nobody helped.

When an action occurs BETWEEN different members of a group rather than returning to each individual, use reciprocal pronouns each other / one another, not reflexives: colleagues emailed one another, not themselves. This is also a separate topic, not the focus of this exercise.

The complete list and memorisation of myself/yourself/... belong to the related rule “Reflexive pronouns: forms”. The idiomatic meaning “alone or without outside help” with the preposition by, as in by myself, belongs to “By + reflexive = alone”.

In the simple sentences covered by this rule, the reflexive form agrees with the subject, not the object or someone mentioned later. I → myself, you (one person) → yourself, you (several people) → yourselves, he → himself, she → herself, it → itself, we → ourselves, they → themselves.

For a compound subject such as my sister and I, first identify the pronoun that could replace the whole subject: here, we. Then choose its reflexive form: ourselves.

When a sentence describes a task, job or skill—repairing, writing, cooking or assembling something—and contrasts doing it with possible help from other people, the likely meaning is without assistance.

When the focus is simply on the presence or absence of other people—living, staying, waiting or travelling—rather than on a particular task, the likely meaning is alone.

In many natural sentences, the context allows both readings at once. This is not an error: the situation simply supports both meanings.

Without by, these forms can emphasize the person performing an action: that person personally. This is the emphatic use. A reflexive pronoun without by can also be an object referring back to the subject; that is a separate related rule.

By + reflexive explicitly expresses the absence of company or assistance. An emphatic pronoun highlights who performed the action, and in a suitable context it may also suggest independence. Do not infer whether someone had help solely from the absence of by.

Alone and phrases such as on my own, on your own and on his own convey the same meanings as by + reflexive and are often interchangeable. Alone more often emphasizes physical solitude, while on my own emphasizes independence. The boundary is not always clear, however, and all three options sound natural in many sentences.

When we know an action was completed, not by myself can deny that it was done independently: there was help or company. However, a negative sentence alone does not guarantee that the action happened at all. A phrase with with or together with identifies a helper or companion.

A reflexive pronoun is required after by specifically when the meaning is alone or without help. In other constructions, by me or by him can be correct—for example, to identify the agent of a passive verb or to describe a position near someone.

Forms such as hisself, ourself for plural we, theirself and meself occur in the speech of some dialects, but they are not the forms used in the standard English constructions taught here.

This lesson does not provide a full paradigm of reflexive pronoun forms, which is a separate topic. It also does not cover reflexive objects in expressions such as hurt myself, where the subject and object refer to the same person. The focus is the phrase by + reflexive and its contrast with emphatic use without by.