Reflexive pronouns: the subject and object are the same participant

What a reflexive pronoun means

The subject names the performer of an action; an object, if present, names its target or recipient. They may be different participants. When the object names the performer themselves, a reflexive pronoun is required in the basic construction practised here.

There are eight reflexive pronouns for this: myself, yourself, himself, herself, itself, ourselves, yourselves, themselves. Each indicates that the action's object is the subject themselves, not someone else.

In these constructions, replacing a reflexive pronoun with him, her, or them normally points to a different participant. Always check whom the context refers to.

How to build it

Subject + verb (+ preposition) + reflexive pronoun (-self / -selves)

subject / S: The grammatical subject: who or what the clause is about; the verb agrees with it. In The book was written, the book is the subject, although someone else does the action.
verb / V: A word for an action or state, such as work or be. The pattern determines its form.
preposition: A word showing a relationship, such as in, on or from: from Ukraine.
pronoun: A word used instead of naming a person or thing: I, you, she, it, they.

Mark blamed himself for the delay.

Himself shows that the person blamed and the person doing the blaming are the same person, Mark.

The kitten licked itself beside the radiator.

Itself corresponds to it: the animal acts on itself. For an animal referred to as he or she, the corresponding form is himself or herself.

We treated ourselves to a long weekend.

Ourselves shows that the people giving and receiving the treat are the same group: we.

Form: -self in the singular, -selves in the plural

The form matches the performer of the particular action the pronoun belongs to: I — myself, he — himself, she — herself, it — itself, we — ourselves, they — themselves. With you, distinguish one person, yourself, from several, yourselves.

In this rule's basic set of forms, singular forms end in -self and plural forms in -selves. The separate use of singular they is not practised here.

I taught myself how to read music two summers ago.

The singular subject I takes myself.

Both managers introduced themselves at the start of the call.

The subject both managers is plural, so use themselves, not himself twice.

Sentence roles: direct object, indirect object, and object of a preposition

A reflexive pronoun most often follows the verb directly as its direct object: the subject acts directly on themselves.

Sometimes the reflexive names the person an action is done for, as an indirect object or recipient, while a separate following noun phrase is the direct object: he made himself a coffee.

In combinations such as proud of, believe in, and hard on, the reflexive shows that the attitude concerns the participant themselves. This is not a mechanical rule for every preposition: follow the particular construction.

She hurt herself while moving the boxes.

Herself is the direct object of hurt.

He poured himself a glass of water before the meeting.

Himself is the indirect object, naming whom the water was poured for; a glass of water is the direct object.

I'm quite proud of myself for finishing the report early.

Myself follows the preposition of and refers to the subject I.

When the subject and object are different people

If the object refers to someone other than the subject, use an ordinary object pronoun — him, her, them, me, us, you, or it — rather than a reflexive.

Confusion here changes the sentence's meaning: one word turns an account of two people into an account of one.

Grace looked at her across the crowded room.

Her refers to another woman here, not Grace herself.

Grace looked at herself in the shop window as she walked past.

Herself shows that Grace looked at herself.

Verbs that do not usually need a reflexive pronoun

Wash, dress, and shave often appear without an object in ordinary descriptions of personal care. A reflexive is also possible when it matters to explicitly identify who is being washed, dressed, or shaved, particularly to emphasise being able to do it without help.

Do not automatically copy reflexive forms from another language: the ordinary construction for focusing attention is concentrate on, while hurry normally needs no reflexive object. Adding the idea “without help” does not make these verbs reflexive.

For ordinary rest or relaxation, use relax without an object. Relax also has a transitive meaning, to calm someone, so relax oneself cannot be declared universally ungrammatical. Choose according to the meaning, not the form used in another language.

He shaved quickly before the interview.

Shave appears without himself here, an ordinary use without special emphasis.

Try to relax before the exam.

In this ordinary meaning of relaxation, relax has no object.

I need to concentrate on the numbers.

For the meaning “focus on”, use concentrate on without a reflexive object.

Established verb + reflexive combinations

Several phrases are worth learning as complete units rather than deriving them from the rule each time: help yourself, an invitation to take food; enjoy yourself/yourselves, have a good time; behave yourself, behave properly; express yourself, communicate your thoughts; teach yourself, learn independently; introduce yourself, tell others who you are; take care of yourself, look after yourself; and believe in yourself, have confidence in yourself.

Help yourself to some fruit before the meeting starts.

Help yourself to is a polite invitation to take some food.

Behave yourself at the ceremony, please.

Behave yourself is an established expression requesting good behaviour.

Enjoy yourselves at the party tonight.

Yourselves addresses several people at once.

Scope: what we do NOT practise here

The same words, myself, himself, and so on, sometimes emphasise WHO personally performed an action rather than identifying subject and object as the same: I fixed the shelf myself means “I personally did it”. Remove myself — I fixed the shelf — and the meaning barely changes; only the emphasis disappears. This is a different function of the same words, not tested in this rule's exercises. The emphatic pronoun alone does not mean that nobody helped.

When an action occurs BETWEEN different members of a group rather than returning to each individual, use reciprocal pronouns each other / one another, not reflexives: colleagues emailed one another, not themselves. This is also a separate topic, not the focus of this exercise.

The complete list and memorisation of myself/yourself/... belong to the related rule “Reflexive pronouns: forms”. The idiomatic meaning “alone or without outside help” with the preposition by, as in by myself, belongs to “By + reflexive = alone”.

I fixed the shelf myself.

Here myself emphasises personal involvement; it does not make subject and object identical or state whether anyone helped.

The two colleagues emailed each other before the meeting.

Each other shows an action between different group members, which is a separate topic.

Common mistakes

Incorrect:He saw hisself on the security screen.

Correct:He saw himself on the security screen.

In standard English, the reflexive corresponding to he is himself, not hisself.

Incorrect:I concentrated myself on the report all morning.

Correct:I concentrated on the report all morning.

For the ordinary meaning “focus on”, the natural construction is concentrate on without a reflexive object.

Incorrect:We enjoyed at the street festival.

Correct:We enjoyed ourselves at the street festival.

In the meaning “have a good time”, enjoy requires an object; here it is the same group as we, so use ourselves.

Incorrect:She is pleased with himself after the driving lesson.

Correct:She is pleased with herself after the driving lesson.

In this sentence about being pleased with oneself, the form must match she: herself.

Incorrect:The twins hurt herself on the same broken step.

Correct:The twins hurt themselves on the same broken step.

The subject the twins is plural, so the reflexive must also be plural: themselves, not herself.

Incorrect:I bought itself a notebook for my evening class.

Correct:I bought myself a notebook for my evening class.

The buyer and recipient are both I, so use myself, not itself.

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